The Winning Phase
During the winning phase (frequently 3 to 5 years) of the disease, these gamblers won more often than they lost; probably had a "big win", an amount equal to at least a month's normal salary and sometimes as much as a year's normal salary or more. This winning phase and specifically, a major early win, justified to these gamblers their opinion of being smarter than others and, of course, superior gamblers. These gamblers frequently believe that they are capable of becoming "professional" gamblers and may even perceive themselves to be one. As these gamblers progress through the winning phase, they begin to spend more time gambling, and begin to gamble more often and for larger amounts of money. Eventually, they begin to lose.
The Losing Phase
In the losing phase, which usually lasts more than five years, the action gambler begins betting even larger amounts and gambling even more. He starts to believe that he is simply on a losing streak, and starts to double up on bets and to stay in hands when he knows he should fold. He bets on "longshots" which he knows don't have much of a chance but will pay big. He starts losing much more often than he wins. These frequent losses cause him to gamble even more in order to win back his losses.. (He is now "chasing" his losses). He borrows money with which to gamble; the lying has already begun; he must lie in order to cover his tracks. He must lie in order to convince people that he is still the "happy go lucky gambler," and all around "good guy." He begins to lie about everything, often when the truth would better serve him. He continues to boast about his skills at gambling; talks often about his wins, rarely about his losses. At some point he has his first major "set-back." Deep in financial trouble, he may convince his family or employer of some phony major catastrophic disaster which requires a loan. He probably is able to obtain this first "bail-out," and probably asked for more than he needed to settle up his gambling losses, therefore, providing extra "gambling dollars". He considers that "bail-out" as a win. He is back in action and gambling even more feverishly than before. These bailouts may occur numerous times; eventually, it is almost impossible to persuade others to again provide a loan. He seems to lose almost all the time now. His life has become unmanageable, and his family life is rapidly deteriorating.
The Desperation Phase
The majority of the gambler's time is spent thinking about gambling, planning gambling or in action. He no longer has control over his gambling. In order to relieve the inner pain he must gamble; he knows he will lose, but it does not matter. His lying is completely out of control. When others don't believe his lies, he becomes angry with them, blaming others for his problems. He must obtain the money with which to gamble at all costs. His family is in shambles. They have possibly already left or are on the verge of leaving. Illegal activity may be occurring; the gambler may be embezzling money or stealing it in other ways. He will consider these as loans which will be paid back soon from the big win he believes he will have.
He is still often able to present an outward appearance of being in control. His wife and kids (if they are still there) are suffering in many ways: the rent or house payment is behind; the utilities may have even been turned off; few of the relatives even speak to them anymore; they are now on a cash only basis everywhere. Credit cards are "maxed"; the wife doesn't know what is wrong. She knows he is gambling. She knows he continually lies. She has heard him say a thousand times that he will stop, that everything will be okay. She is suffering from depression, but because she still has a sense of false pride, she doesn't want anyone to know how desperate they are, and pleads with him to just stop. Yet he still continues to gamble. She is afraid to answer the phone, fearing it will be still another bill collector, or worse, her relatives, wanting their money or wanting information. Their life is spiraling downward toward an unknown end. She is even frequently convinced that it is somehow her fault.
The gambler often has an outward appearance, even at this stage, of being in total control. He is still convinced that everyone believes his lies. He even becomes angry when they don't. Outwardly he blames everyone but himself for the unfortunate circumstances now occurring. Inwardly, the gambler is in severe anguish. He truly loves his family and wants things to be like they used to be. He wants respect and stability, but he has to gamble. He can't tell you why, but he has to gamble. He has to be in action. He is living in a dream world, knowing he can't win. Punishing himself, he wants it to end. He thinks often about self destruction, and probably more often than most would like to believe, does commit suicide. He has to gamble because it is the only way he can relieve the pain. His significant other's pride and lack of knowledge about the disorder will not allow her to face the fact that she must take action. It may take something like an arrest of the gambler, a suicide attempt, or some other traumatic event to take place before she finally offers an ultimatum or takes the kids and leaves the gambler.
Once the action gambler enters stage three of the disorder, the desperation phase, he and the escape gambler share many of the same symptoms. They no longer have any control over gambling. Gambling itself now has the control. Action gamblers, more often than not, are forced into recovery only after they have exhausted all means of obtaining money with which to gamble (they are out of marbles.) Frequently they are facing legal problems. Their spouse or significant others force them recovery with ultimatums, or theiremployer mandates a 12 step program. Often they are court ordered to a recovery program. Very few "action" gamblers search out a recovery program of their own accord. Though many say they made the first call on their own, they usually later admit that it was at the prompting of someone else. Rarely do they seek professional help unless legal advice refers them, or their spouse gives an "or else into " ultimatum.
When a typical action gambler enters a self help recovery program, he often believes that his family should immediately rally to his aide, expecting them to forgive him instantly for his misdeeds. He frequently still blames others for his actions, and usually does not face the facts squarely. Often he wears the fact that he has stopped gambling as a badge of honor and his ego is once again inflated. Not taking the recovery program seriously, he only stops gambling. He does not involve himself in the recovery program and before long, after a few meetings, after he has convinced his family that he is once again a "hero," he stops attending the program. Before you can wink an eye he is back out gambling and back into phase three of the disease on a progressive slide downward, right where he left off.
After this relapse, again out of marbles, he returns to the recovery program and may finally take his gambling disease seriously. When this occurs, he has a better chance at recovery. Yet, often the action gambler attends meeting, gambles, returns to meetings, gambles and this cycle may last for years. Thistype of periodic recovery and periodic compulsive gambling often leads to criminal activity and imprisonment or even death.
The Hopeless Phase
Until recently only three phases of pathological gambling have been noted. Many clinicians and experts who treat pathological gamblers now say a fourth phase exists for both action and escape gamblers. Once the gambler has been through the desperation phase, it would seem that everything bad had occurred. However in the hopeless phase, both types of pathological gamblers have "given up". They believe nothing can help, they don't care if they live or die, in fact for many the latter is the preference. They will all consider suicide during this phase. Most will commit actions which could place them in jail or prison. Clinical depression is a given. In their minds, no one cares, no hope is available. The hopeless phase is the time when the pathological gambler either gets help or ends with suicide or prison.
