-Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money.
-There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
-Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
-A race track is a place where windows clean people.
-A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
-Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.
-Luck never gives; it only lends.
-No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.
-A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
-The better the gambler, the worse the man.
-There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away.
-In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.
-The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil.
-No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.
-Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
-Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.
-Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.
-I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
-Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.
-I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.
-If you must play, decide upon 3 things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.
-There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
-Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
-A race track is a place where windows clean people.
-A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
-Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.
-Luck never gives; it only lends.
-No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.
-A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
-The better the gambler, the worse the man.
-There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away.
-In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.
-The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil.
-No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.
-Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
-Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.
-Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.
-I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
-Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.
-I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.
-If you must play, decide upon 3 things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.
