Poker- Rules of Etiquette (Blog post)

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  • OmgUrMom
    Restricted User
    • 02-07-10
    • 8481

    #1
    Poker- Rules of Etiquette (Blog post)
    Poker etiquette varies as much as the play of the game itself, but there are some common rules that must be followed to stay in the good graces of your fellow players.


    1. Don't whine and moan about bad beats- Everyone sitting at the table has had there fair share of bad beats, but some players can just not let it go. Who wants to listen to some guy foam at the mouth for 30 minutes over a bad river card?

    2. Don't criticize the bad players- It can be hard at times when they river your pocket Aces with something positively crazy like 83, but please do your best and refrain from childish put-downs. Oftentimes these are new players to the game, or simply poor players who are just there to have fun. You can make money off of these players but not if you ruin the game for them and make it less enjoyable, they may just go home. If you run off all the bad players pretty soon you will be in a losing situation, or making a lot less money than you could have otherwise.


    3. Don't blame the dealer for your luck- I've seen many a player blame the dealer for their porous luck. In reality the dealer has no control over what types of hands you receive, they are just doing there job. Please don't make it a living hell for the people who make the game run smoothly for all players.


    4. Tip the dealer- One dollar per pot is usually an acceptable tip for most poker games out there, if you are playing a home game and rotating the deal between yourselves this usually doesn't apply.


    5. Don't talk about a hand while its in progress- It's not acceptable to say to your friend after the flop, "Wow i think that guy hit a set of threes on that flop." This can affect the game and change players perceptions of the hand, and is one of the worst etiquette mistakes you can make. The only time it's relatively acceptable to talk about the hand is when it's down to you and one other opponent.


    6. Never slow-roll- A slow-roll occurs at the end of the hand when all the betting is complete, typically if you believe your hand is best you should be the first one to flip it up. Occasionally a player will purposely wait until everyone has flipped up there hands, and then flip up a monster hand to inflict maximum pain on his opponents. Generally when someone waits to flip its because they have a weak hand, so when this player waits so long the other player will assume they have won the hand, but to their dismay they have not, they've been slow-rolled.


    If you follow these simple rules everything should run smoothly at your local poker game. You'll probably make some friends and the entire experience should be more enjoyable. Good luck at the tables!
  • terpkeg
    SBR MVP
    • 10-26-09
    • 2364

    #2
    Strongly agree with 1-5. Number 2 drives me crazy. Regarding number 6, hands should be showdown from the last bettor going clockwise, no? I guess this is more for a relaxed home game.
    Comment
    • whatsgood5
      Restricted User
      • 10-13-09
      • 15359

      #3
      Nice read, but you didn't do this to get points, right? Cause that'd be unfortunate...
      Comment
      • OmgUrMom
        Restricted User
        • 02-07-10
        • 8481

        #4
        Originally posted by terpkeg
        Strongly agree with 1-5. Number 2 drives me crazy. Regarding number 6, hands should be showdown from the last bettor going clockwise, no? I guess this is more for a relaxed home game.
        Clock wise if its checked around on the river. If someone bets on the river that person is supposed to show his hand first. But for example if they appear very reluctant to show their hand and I am the caller with a strong hand I will usually do them the courtesy of showing my hand. (as long as they do the same for me).

        A good example of a slow-roll would be this. Playing 1-2 No limit hold em. One player goes all in when the board is 3 diamonds K diamonds 6 spades 9 spades 10 diamonds. His opponent calls with Adia 7dia, the nuts (best hand possible). Yet he still waits for his opponent to show his hand even though he knows he has the winner. Gives his opponent the impression he likely has the winning hand. (if say he had any flush or possibly even a set or two pair). Sometimes it's done by a novice who doesn't know any better and sometimes it's just done a by a sick fokk to inflict maximum pain
        Comment
        • iwant2lrn
          Restricted User
          • 06-10-10
          • 164

          #5
          I agree. If everyone sticks to these rules, poker can be very fun for all.
          Comment
          • ttwarrior1
            BARRELED IN @ SBR!
            • 06-23-09
            • 28438

            #6
            disagree with every post
            Comment
            • Kaabee
              SBR MVP
              • 01-21-06
              • 2482

              #7
              plagiarized

              Comment
              • OmgUrMom
                Restricted User
                • 02-07-10
                • 8481

                #8
                Originally posted by Kaabee
                you can plagiarize yourself?

                That's a new one

                I'm Boris3 at helium thank you very much. Tks for the page view btw
                Comment
                • illmatick
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 01-05-09
                  • 5451

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Kaabee
                  plagiarized
                  Comment
                  • OmgUrMom
                    Restricted User
                    • 02-07-10
                    • 8481

                    #10
                    Go to Boris3's (the writer at Helium, which of course as I've already stated is me) about me profile and I added that I'm an avid poster at SBR to erase any doubts as to the authenticity of the article
                    Comment
                    • OmgUrMom
                      Restricted User
                      • 02-07-10
                      • 8481

                      #11
                      Originally posted by whatsgood5
                      Nice read, but you didn't do this to get points, right? Cause that'd be unfortunate...
                      i was hoping I might, won't be the end of the world if i don't though.
                      Comment
                      • mrmarket
                        SBR MVP
                        • 01-26-10
                        • 4953

                        #12
                        Real Poker Rules of Etiquette

                        1-Blame the dealer for the outcome of cards at every opportunity. When disgusted with your luck shame the dealer by throwing cards at them forcefully while making a face. Follow this by asking the brush loudly for a seat change and if that fails multiple deck changes is the solution you seek.

                        2- Bad beat stories are always of interest to your fellow gamblers. Regale your table mates with tales of woe because they are a understanding bunch.

                        3- Personal hygiene at the table? No siree bob! All bodily odors are encouraged at the table. If you haven't bathed for a few days don't be shy to let the players beside you know. Brush your teeth? Not here! In fact leaning over while breathing heavily and asking about the onion soup quality at the local restaurant is a good ice breaker to meet table mates. Be sure to always cough on the table, whipe your nose with your fingers and then handle the chips. Also, eat the greasiest smelliest food with no napkin because your table mates would like to share the experience of your meal too!

                        4- Celebrate Diversity. Deformity,abscess, skin disease, colostomy bag? No need to take notice of these things while at the table! Sure you could be dealing with your medical condition in a proper fashion but this is POKER.

                        5-Celebrate Ethnicity. If you aren't listening to crazy superstitions ramblings or hearing "aww in" multiple times per round then you need a table change stat!

                        6- Respect your elders. See that old man who has played 2 hands in 6 hours? See him complaining about tipping the dealer? See him stiffing the waitress? See him explaining how to play proper poker to anyone younger than him? See him mourning his bad luck? See him stroking the comp card hungrily for that free sandwich because he refuses to pay for anything in the overpriced shops? If you see someone like that straddle their button. It would be disrespectful not to.

                        7- Women at the table. Oogle, google, drool, eyefuck, look down their blouse, lick your lips and make incompetent approaches incessantly. The women go wild for these things. She's wearing a heavy sweater sunglasses and a ball-cap? Ha!,she's just playing hard to get. Increase your propositions in accordance with her level of disgust. Average looking? Not at a poker table! Any women in the poker room is a 10/10.

                        8- Staking. Lend to as many people as possible. Not bankrolled? Borrow from as many people as possible. Ask everyone in the room multiple times. Already owe someone money? Ask them again. Paying back the loans back? No way! This is America.

                        9-Table play. Wondered what that person who just made you fold had as a hand? Feel free to pick up their mucked cards. It's a communal area for a reason so make use of it! Have a nut hand and get pushed all in or called? Take time to savor the moment. Mock the agony of the call. Celebrate the theatrics of the game. Slow roll? Hell yes! It should be called slow awesome!

                        10 - Etiquette towards the producer. So he's having a bad night spewing out chips. Everyone has bad nights right? I mean you have been in his situation before. Be sure to tell the table about it. Don't you wish someone would have encouraged you that night you were losing though? Encourage the producers play. Make them feel as awkward and uncomfortable as possible. He's almost broke? Take the rest of his money! He doesn't need it. But what if he's leaving early? Complain loudly before he leaves the table. Make a scene and leave at the same time as him referencing his absence for the degradation of game quality. You want to make it clear to everyone so no misunderstandings arise.
                        Comment
                        • OmgUrMom
                          Restricted User
                          • 02-07-10
                          • 8481

                          #13
                          Comment
                          • pico
                            BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                            • 04-05-07
                            • 27321

                            #14
                            sometimes dealer stack cold decks against you
                            Comment
                            • hunterwrot
                              SBR Sharp
                              • 02-15-10
                              • 373

                              #15
                              if you lose the hand you are entitled to yell at dealer and or player who beat you. Call them a donk or loser. and work togather with friends it seems to help some people out.
                              Comment
                              • mrmarket
                                SBR MVP
                                • 01-26-10
                                • 4953

                                #16
                                Originally posted by hunterwrot
                                if you lose the hand you are entitled to yell at dealer and or player who beat you. Call them a donk or loser. and work togather with friends it seems to help some people out.
                                Not this.
                                Comment
                                • Art Vandeleigh
                                  SBR MVP
                                  • 12-31-06
                                  • 1494

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by mrmarket


                                  5-Celebrate Ethnicity. If you aren't listening to crazy superstitions ramblings or hearing "aww in" multiple times per round then you need a table change stat!
                                  I think it's pronounced "aww eeen", but yes, ethnicity makes the poker world go round.
                                  Comment
                                  • Dr.Gonzo
                                    SBR MVP
                                    • 12-05-09
                                    • 4660

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by OmgUrMom
                                    Poker etiquette varies as much as the play of the game itself, but there are some common rules that must be followed to stay in the good graces of your fellow players.


                                    1. Don't whine and moan about bad beats- Everyone sitting at the table has had there fair share of bad beats, but some players can just not let it go. Who wants to listen to some guy foam at the mouth for 30 minutes over a bad river card?
                                    2. Don't criticize the bad players- It can be hard at times when they river your pocket Aces with something positively crazy like 83, but please do your best and refrain from childish put-downs. Oftentimes these are new players to the game, or simply poor players who are just there to have fun. You can make money off of these players but not if you ruin the game for them and make it less enjoyable, they may just go home. If you run off all the bad players pretty soon you will be in a losing situation, or making a lot less money than you could have otherwise.


                                    3. Don't blame the dealer for your luck- I've seen many a player blame the dealer for their porous luck. In reality the dealer has no control over what types of hands you receive, they are just doing there job. Please don't make it a living hell for the people who make the game run smoothly for all players.


                                    4. Tip the dealer- One dollar per pot is usually an acceptable tip for most poker games out there, if you are playing a home game and rotating the deal between yourselves this usually doesn't apply.


                                    5. Don't talk about a hand while its in progress- It's not acceptable to say to your friend after the flop, "Wow i think that guy hit a set of threes on that flop." This can affect the game and change players perceptions of the hand, and is one of the worst etiquette mistakes you can make. The only time it's relatively acceptable to talk about the hand is when it's down to you and one other opponent.


                                    6. Never slow-roll- A slow-roll occurs at the end of the hand when all the betting is complete, typically if you believe your hand is best you should be the first one to flip it up. Occasionally a player will purposely wait until everyone has flipped up there hands, and then flip up a monster hand to inflict maximum pain on his opponents. Generally when someone waits to flip its because they have a weak hand, so when this player waits so long the other player will assume they have won the hand, but to their dismay they have not, they've been slow-rolled.


                                    If you follow these simple rules everything should run smoothly at your local poker game. You'll probably make some friends and the entire experience should be more enjoyable. Good luck at the tables!
                                    1. I don't give a **** about the rest of the table.

                                    2. If they tilt or get rattled criticize them constantly. Just as long a they don't leave.

                                    3. I don't blame the dealer unless I want to make it look like I'm on tilt.

                                    4. I never tip the dealer. It is illegal to tip the dealer in Australia but I've been to Vegas and I didn't tip them shit. If they get upset tell them that you not going to support their degenerate blackjack habit.

                                    5. If it protects the donk so you can roll him instead of the rock next to do talk about the hands as much as possible.

                                    6. Constantly slow roll. Nothing tilts people like this. Once you slow roll expect it to happen to you. So never make assumptions until you see the hand.
                                    Comment
                                    • k13
                                      SBR Posting Legend
                                      • 07-16-10
                                      • 18051

                                      #19
                                      I tell russians to go and drown.
                                      Comment
                                      • hrgonz0
                                        SBR High Roller
                                        • 05-21-09
                                        • 239

                                        #20
                                        Tell me about "check outs" between players when someone else is All In. I've seen some players check out and I've seen some players continue playing as normal, either b/c they have the best hand, or b/c they are bluffing. There seems to be no consistency in this part of the game, and it drives me crazy.
                                        Comment
                                        • pmidy88
                                          Restricted User
                                          • 07-17-10
                                          • 220

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Dr.Gonzo
                                          1. I don't give a **** about the rest of the table.

                                          2. If they tilt or get rattled criticize them constantly. Just as long a they don't leave.

                                          3. I don't blame the dealer unless I want to make it look like I'm on tilt.

                                          4. I never tip the dealer. It is illegal to tip the dealer in Australia but I've been to Vegas and I didn't tip them shit. If they get upset tell them that you not going to support their degenerate blackjack habit.

                                          5. If it protects the donk so you can roll him instead of the rock next to do talk about the hands as much as possible.

                                          6. Constantly slow roll. Nothing tilts people like this. Once you slow roll expect it to happen to you. So never make assumptions until you see the hand.
                                          lmfao
                                          Comment
                                          • 1949
                                            SBR Sharp
                                            • 06-13-10
                                            • 475

                                            #22
                                            the rules are easy........mimic helmuth and matisow
                                            Comment
                                            • OmgUrMom
                                              Restricted User
                                              • 02-07-10
                                              • 8481

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by hrgonz0
                                              Tell me about "check outs" between players when someone else is All In. I've seen some players check out and I've seen some players continue playing as normal, either b/c they have the best hand, or b/c they are bluffing. There seems to be no consistency in this part of the game, and it drives me crazy.

                                              In cash games no one should be expected to check out, although bluffing in some situations with a player all in can be terrible. For example if a player gets all in on the turn, two players call and there is no extra money in the pot side pot, bluffing the river against the other player would be terrible here considering even if he folds the all-in player will proobably have you beat and you win nothing (cause there was no side pot yet). If the side pot is very substantial already though you can play the hand through as normal.

                                              In tournament poker it's much more commonly accepted to check it down, and many players will do this. I will on occasion but if I am very confident i have the best hand, I will protect it and keep betting. If I have a more mediocre hand that may or may not be good then i will be likely to stick to the conventional check down. Just a rule of thumb I never play expecting someone to check it down with me. If they do great, if not it doesn't upset me.
                                              Comment
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